Finally…

It’s the final of IPL today…and as I write this, Gilly was out in a Silly way to a Jumbo delivery which the commentator called the googly…No idea if Jumbo knew what he had bowled…cos the ball didnt do much…its just that Gilly missed the ball. Period.

So…the thing is, its the clash between the best of cheerleaders…the Bang-galore Batli babes and the Dhakkan Dhingchaks! Oh they have it, and they shake it well…the legs I mean!!

I would love to see rains of 4s and 6s today, just to checkout the booty-shake! I would love if both teams get all out, so I can get the maximum but then too much of it leaves me all drained out and dry! Sigh!

MANdira Body is all covered up these days, thanks to the cold wave across the African greenlands…I hear the TRPs have all fallen since…she carried them all on her bare shoulders, if one may say so!

The FIP dude played safe by doing a shadow act…He was as brave as a mouse!! Cheers dude!

Murali is back in India and busy on the sets talking about what the cricketers can do on the field…all he has to say is “dont do what I did”…as simple as that!!

Manish proved that his century wasnt a fluke by playing well in the semis, before he threw away his wicket much to the annoyment of the wall.
On the other hand, the Wall has proved to be solid in this form of cricket (if I may call it so) too…the way he batted in the semis was classic…for all those who criticised him, up yours!

I am wondering how it would be from tomorrow without the sight of cheerleaders!! 40 days of cheerleading can do this to you!! But then, there’s the T20 World Cup coming up the very next month for another 3-4 weeks of cheerleader booty shakes…Sreesanth could be joining them as well…you never know!

Never before has Cricket been so entertaining…that is without even talking about it!! 🙂
I”ll get back to the action…Symonds is going great guns…but then am backing the Bang Boys!!

Cheers and Hic Hics,
Mastru Blahster

PS: Before I posted this, Jumbo strikes again…Symonds is walking back towards the pavilion! Jai ho! 😀

If you ask me, FIP is a She!!

I wondered last night if the FIP was a female….Chriz had exposed the FIP and declared it to be a guy!
Today I see a poll on the FIP’s blog with no female in the options…I was devastated…I immediately voted “none of the above” and I only did that once, sticking to the rule! Did I think of FIP as a male chauvinist? nah…Instead it made my thought process stronger…as I thought that this FIP must be a female…
Observe the questions asked…FIP asks basic questions like how a comments by some IPL Anonymous is done, etc…makes me feel that its indeed a woman at her creative best!!
Now who could it be?

I have my eyes on MANdira Body!! Literally too…
No wonder the Night Riders have lost most of their matches…she was the obvious distraction who carried drinks and what not except play on the field. Now I hear the pink city team is her fav. but then she’s been asked to stay off the pink dug out if unless she’s dressed in a nun’s wear by none other than Smithy boy. He knows exactly where to keep his women.

Now why did Ms.Body do this with the Night Riders?
Maybe…
– She was allowed to play ONLY in the nets…the mosquito nets, that is.
– She didn’t prefer to carry drinks….unless they reminded her of good times…
– The laptop coach tried to boot and re-boot her…uski maa ki…beti jo nahi hey ye…
– The tatooed bicep fella didn’t allow her to see ALL his tatoos…
– The big ear fella made her feel religious, and she was not dressed for it…
and may be – Worst of all, the tall lanky chipkali faced paceman called her Shanti Aunty…

Now will she REVEAL herself? I mean how much more can she reveal herself? We shall wait and watch….

Batting on…
….Mastru-Blahster!

IPL and the 4-C Theory! :)

IPL of this year is all about I and P and L…

Who had his eye-d on whom?  – MANdira Body…the highest to be hit on…followed by the big and litlle sissy’s!

Who pee-d on whom? – Strisanth on his own feet…

Who L-d whom? Err…whatever that means…Love, Licked, Lip-Locked, Libido, et al. – Romiz Roja did try these on Ms. Body…did he touch base and make a home run or did he face doosra? Read FIP for such hot news in detail…

IPL 2009…wasn’t meant to be…thanks to the elections…but then it was taken away from India…the “I” was taken to the jungles of SA!
IPL in SA (let me call it the SAPL) was about carnivals, the parties, the Cheerleaders, the slutty commentators, the weather, the inner team divide, the controversies, the theories, et al…but it was never about cricket!!!

John B-naan…came in to this SAPL and took over the Night Riders with the aim to win himself a Nobel Prize…and phak you, if you think he meant to lift the SAPL trophy!! Anyways past is past…it never does last…
Going into the flashback….
John B-naan wanted to introduce the 4-condom theory of physic(al)s!!

Everyone seemed to have a problem…
Dada was against it…he was only comfortable with one condom – “Utne kondome daalke me kya kelbo?” (“How good will I play with that many condoms?”)
Agracar had a doubt…”Do I bat that well, to wear 4 of those?”…”When I bowl, the opposition can wear 4 though…they bat well when against me!”
The tall lanky bowler wanted to know… “Where do I wear those? I have a lot around the neck already!”
Mac-column loved it though…he said “Four of those is good enough to protect my tatoos”…

Anyways…the theory was bluntly rejected by the owner of the Nights, as it increased his budget by leaps and rands…
He was of the opinion that they stick (in)to Cheerleaders instead, like all other teams…

What did John B-naan understand by the name “Night Riders”! You never know….The phak-er never did…so didn’t his laptop!! Hmmph!

Till then..
Play on…safe…
Mastru_Blahster

Of Rojasthan Rayols, Baboons and Phaakinstan!

IPL brings in a large amount of speculations, rumors and inside news…truth or not, it just doesn’t matter.
I’ve been wondering what could be the inspiration/motivation for the kaptan of Rojasthan Rayols to lead his team the way he does. Friends have been questioning me “What does the big sissy offer to him apart from the moolah?”…”Whats the role of the little sissy in this whole affair?”

Its a matter of fact that baboons ransacked little sissy’s room and what not, the night after Rayols lost their match. I guess little sissy is a consolation for the “baboons” for the spin whiz and big bella from Apreeka, on days of losses.
This is just a speculation as I do not play or carry drinks for the Rayols like our FIP (man…am so phakkin addicted to his cheesy posts) dude does for KKR.
But I do bet online, and against the Rayols cos big sissy refused to give in while the little sissy, well I refused to do the baboon act! Hmmph…

Phaakinstani president Sardari had called me last night…to share the good news that he was elated over the $1.9 billion donation that the you-yes president gave him…he had called to ask as to what to do about it?
Sardu: Hello Mastru-blahster…
Me: Sardu…long time…howz the state of and in Phaakinstan?
Sardu: TALLI cannot be BANned…I dunno what to do?
Me: Hmm…
Sardu: Well I called to ask about what I should do with the moolah?
Me: Wire it through halwa-la to Apreeka and bet it all on Rojasthan Rayols…best team to bet on, cos you get two sissys as a package deal…
Sardu: Are you sure?
Me: Phak you man…you want a proof for this too, don’t you?
Me: Btw, how old do you think this Kazab is?
Sardu: Add 10 yrs to whatever age that he says he is. We phaks tend to get stuck in our teens for an elongated period.
Me: Yeah…I remember Half-ridi…he was bloody 16 yr old for like 10 straight years…
Sardu: Ok, begum calling to chop onions…gtg..

I have bet against the Rayols…and they are well on their way to lose to the charged dhakkan unless the senior phatang rips the dhakkans apart…!!
Will little sissy get another baboon act tonight? 🙂  Time will tell…

[Second Innings]~ Of Dormancy, Gibberish, IPL and FIP…

Dormancy had stuck this “once-upon-a-time group blog” and it was high time to use it to kick some butt…err…I mean for some useless blah blah….So am back, for an equally useless Second Innings!  😀
I plan to do this with an image makeover…I am not going to be me…I am going be some “blah” from now on…This is not to throw dirt on someone nor to cover my identity but to blog in a way where my personality/character (ya its good :P) doesnt become come in as a barrier…so you may get to read some definite nonsense…something sick…and sometimes sense in the name of gibberish…since I am not me, my other sense wont mind what you say about me and what I put down here…
Well…on the other hand, some of you might be knowing who I am actually….but then its alright…even Mandira Body (or is that bedi? bhedi?) knows me very well as a matter of no sense….

This blog might be a bore…I do write when I get bored, so whatever I put down here would be boring (am I making sense?)….isn’t it?
Ok….let me get down to some real nonsense…

IPL and Elections are the hottest entities happening right now…and how can I not go blah blah about these…am the bean (or is that “seed”?) living in the current moment….
I was just wondering….what if we swapped cheerleading and corruption?
How would it be if corruption quit elections (and politicians) and took over IPL (and its players – am not saying it doesnt exist though)? And think, how would it be if we had cheerleaders at election rallies (campaigning) and at the voting booths shaking their booty!!
In Kerala…I bet it would aapam chu**ya (Thanks FIP – Fake IPL Player – for that legendary name for one of our natural fu*k-faced cheerleader) alias Sreesanth leading from the front when it comes to cheerleading…He’ll have his team of third-party genders clapping hard-n-in-rhythm for him as he gets down to his snake-like moves [remember that brylcream or some crap ad? where he dances (??) in the background as yuvraj blabbers in the foreground]…I am wondering him wearing a white mundu as he does that…how else will he display his booty shake huh…
Mandira body is happy about IPL being played in South Africa…She’s been promoted with the license to be bare shouldered on the ground from being the sexy chiffon (transparency meter – touching max.) studio enclosed hot entity. Having lost oodles of weight, she looks swine affected…but that doesn’t stop our Pakistani (??? is he ???) blah blah dude in Rameez Raja from flirting with her as it rains and singing songs on live television …lucky fatang…
I must salute this FIP dude  for his cracking creativity and thought process…every second cricket fan’s discussion involves this chap…awesome is the purrfect naming conventions he’s used to identify the who’s who of the cricketing world…I still don’t know who’s who exactly…but then I dont care…cos I know a few that matters….who aapam chu**ya, bhooka naan, lordie, bublee, big sis and the sheik are…and thats enough for loads of chatters and bullshitting…he’s given us enough scope for our mediocre creativity…hats off to you dude…don’t disclose your identity, we want this to continue for the T20 world cup too!! 😉

Oh by the way, the fifth phase of voting is coming up this week…Would Jumbo vote again, to exploit the last phase?

Let me get back to pavillion now…more blah blah to follow… 😀

Signing off…
Master Blahster!

Political Pessimism

The Indian politicians suddenly seem to have woken up from sleep after the Mangalore pub incident. And woken up how you may ask? They want to close down pubs and put an end to Mall culture as they call it! No serious action has been taken on those who assaulted innocent women and the Rajasthan Chief Minister in an interview to a news channel condemns the youth for adapting the mall culture and also gives his vigorous views on guys and girls holding hands!
Also they want to close down all the pubs. I wonder if it will make any difference to them. They might have their own personal liquor shops at home won’t they?
Heights I tell you…
I mean come on, don’t you guys think there are more serious and more important issues these guys have to handle than to come up with solutions like this?
Frankly I think this whole hungama about closing down pubs is only to cover up the fact that the assault was carried out by political groups as theirs and they do not want to fall into the bad books of their enemies!
Now come on, when the country has come over some serious security lapses, terror attacks and economic crisis, all these politicians could come up with to improve India is to sit and ban girls and guys holding hands? Aren’t there better issues to resolve to take India to better heights than bother about such petty civilian issues?
These wonderful great people claims that the pub culture and mall culture is spoiling the Indian tradition!
Is cheating written as part of the Indian tradition?
Is hooliganism written as Indian culture?
Is taking bribe part of the Indian culture?
Murders and thefts are becoming rampant across the country and I find no orders to curb such things, and these mad people come forward to actually correct and safeguard Indian tradition.
When they are far from what they call as Indian culture, I don’t think they have any rights to force their idea of living on us civilians.
When is india going to witness some sensible political scene? When are our politicians going to really wake up and take responsibility of seriously doing something good for the nation and stop building their wealth?

Unconquered Thoughts

Memories galore
Some old, some new
My mind’s so filled
I have no clue

A few seem bright
A few others dark
My soul attacked
With a piercing spark

Found and lost
Love, sorrow and glee
A complex life
I wish I could flee

Surrounded, squeezed
A lifeless heart
Sorrow seems, in life
An incessant part

Wary and tired
I stand confused
Fear and doubt
A life so bruised

Far, wide, thoughtful
My mind flies
Unconquered wishes
the conscience, my heart defies

Buried needs,
At times, myself I resent
In me I search
Some peace and content

Lyrics of Ringa Ringa – SlumDog Millionaire (2008)

Loved “Slumdog Millionaire” as a movie…and loved the songs as well…Esp the songs – Gangsta Blues, Jai ho and Ringa Ringa! Kudos to A R Rahman and his musicians! 🙂 Searched the net for the lyrics of Ringa Ringa…didn’t get…so I noted it down.

Enjoy the lyrics as well as the song which you can find in the orange jukebox to your right! 😀

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Ring Ring Ringa
Ring Ring Ringa
Ring Ring Ringa Ringa Ring (2)

Hoye!

Aaha!

Chua Chua…Chua…Chua Chua
Haiiiyee…
Chua Chua…Ara ra ra ra…Chua Chua
Chik Chika Chik…
Chua Chua…Chuaa Chuaaa…
Aiyay ya…Aiyay ya…
Ai yay yay…yay yay yay

Ring Ring Ringa
Ring Ring Ringa
Ring Ring Ringa Ringa Ring (2)

Khatiye pe main padi thi
Aur gheheri neend badi si
Aage kya main kahun sakhi re
Ek khatmal tha sayana
Mujhpe tha uska nishaana
Chunari mein ghusgaya dheere dheere
Oh ho hoo….
Kuch nahi samjha woh budhu kuch nahi socha
Rengte jaane kahan pahuncha…

Ring Ring Ringa
Ring Ring Ringa
Ring Ring Ringa Ringa Ring (3)

Chik chika chika…(in the background)

Haiiiye…
Kyun Sharmaaye…
Haiiiye…
Kyun Lajaaye…

Chik chika chika…(in the background)
Laaakh chupaaye…

Kitna main tadpi thi
Hmmm Hmmm
Kitna main royi thi
Aha…
Main toh thi achchi bhali…
Haan…
Kyun bhala soyi thi…
Haaiiiye…
Nigode ne mujhko chaiyn lene na diya
Hmmm mmmm
Rona bhi chaha toh muskuraane na diya
Aha…oh ho…
Aisi thi uss harjaayi ki makkari…
Kya keh rahi ho?
Mere tan badan mein thi lagi chingaari…
Par aise kya thi laachaari?
Oh ho hoo…oh oh oh oh oh (2)
Are haiya haiya ohhhh

Ring Ring Ringa
Ring Ring Ringa
Ring Ring Ringa Ringa Ring (2)

Haule se gudgudaata
Hai hai…
Dil mein halchal machaata
Oh ho…
Main sharm se thi paani paani
Jo usko doondhti main
Haiiiye…
Chupke se woh chup jaata
Haiye…
Aisi thi woh meri kahaani…
Chup…oh ho ho…
Yun samajhlo khatmal ka shikar hui thi main
Uske aage haar gayi thi main

Ring Ring Ringa
Ring Ring Ringa
Ring Ring Ringa Ringa Ring (2)

Parody[1]: The Tester! ;)

This is a parody of the song “The Reason” by a group named Hoobastank! You can listen to the original song in the juke box to your right….but humm with the words below!! 😉

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I’m not a perfect programmer
There’s many bugs I wish I didn’t do
But I continue coding
I never meant to leave those bugs for you
And so, I have to say before I code
That I just want you to know

I’ve found a tester for me
To change it to how it needs to be
A person to test over new
And the tester is you

I’m sorry that I bugged it
It’s something I must do at work everyday
And all the mess I put you through
I wish that I could clean it all away
And be the one who patches all features
That’s why I need you to hear

I’ve found a tester for me
To change it to how it needs to be
A person to test over new
And the tester is you
And the tester is you
And the tester is you
And the tester is you

I’m not a perfect programmer
I never meant to leave those bugs for you
And so, I have to say before I code
That I just want you to know

I’ve found a tester for me
To change it to how it needs to be
A person to test over new
And the tester is you

I’ve found a tester to clean
A code I did, that didn’t mean
A tester for all that I code
And the tester is you

😀

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For my other attempts at Parodies, CLICK HERE!!

The foodie celebrates her bday today!!

Yayyyy Its Birthday time!!!
One of the bloggers of this group blog Niveditha is celebrating her birthday today!!
And here I am with a word document wondering what to write about her.
I have met her very few times, probably thrice, but the way we bonded was too fast and looking back, I wonder how I mingled with someone like Nive despite our interests being totally opposite!!
She seems to have the aura to attract people of all types.Her expertise spawns across different fields.
Yeah she codes very well in java and is well versed in graphics too, cooks very well, homely, pious err… There is a proverb in Tamil which says, the one who lies never gets food in his next birth, so for the want of food I would like to stop lying here and focus on her ‘real’ talents:
Eating: This one skill of hers amazes me to no extent. Her pit (also called stomach in biological terms) is a medical wonder and I guess Doctors from various countries have asked her permission to have research papers published on her gastronomical feats: P
Her achievements in life include winning eat-athons and scaring poor feeble people like me showing off her eating skills. She can even terrorize people asking treats. So naturally my birthday is pending and I am dreading the day when I would be doomed. So if anyone of you want to scare of your enemies then you can call her upon. She would be of extreme help!!
That being her primary skill set, she is also a mehendi artist and has various ‘other’ skills of which I have no clue about.
Ok!!As I can’t think of anything more about her, I would just like to wish her a very happy bday!!
And hey, thanks for the treat man 
You are a sweet heart!!!!
Found this piece somewhere in the net, suits you very much!!
On your birthday,
I’m thinking about how much light and sparkle
you freely dispense wherever you go,
how your sunny smile lights up any gathering.
Every birthday marks another year
of you radiating positive, happy energy,
contagious happiness
that infects all who come in contact with you.
May your next birthday find you the same–
glowing from within!!!!!!
beaming bright joy on everyone you meet.
I feel blessed to know you.

P.S I am sorry for the title cant think of anything else!!!!